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July 29, 2013

Separation anxiety has entered our home.

Over the past few days we’ve seen a different Molly emerge. Her easy going independence has been replaced with fussy neediness. Her nights, which had been improving and involved fewer wakeful periods, now have me up for hours at a time.

The thing is, she’s not having trouble going to sleep. It’s when she wakes in the night that there are issues. I nurse her, she falls asleep and the cycle of her waking when I put her down begins. If I leave her, say to use the washroom, she screams her head off, the likes of which I’ve never heard from her! I’m not about to let her cry herself to sleep, not when this is about her being scared. After having had a few rough nights of this though, I think I may try the pick up put down method again. Something has to be done to help us through this stage.

I believe separation anxiety is definitely the culprit, because during my days off she’s been a lot more fussy and demanding on my time. She wants to be held a lot and is quite affectionate. Not unexpected with the big change of me going back to work, but as I said to A last night, a part of me secretly hoped that she wouldn’t ever get the traditional toddler behaviours. A major case of delusions of grandeur!

Other than the issues at home, she has actually adjusted well at day care. Her daily ‘report cards’ look good, and though she could sleep better, she has had a happy demeanour! That definitely makes it easier for me.

As for my transition back to work, it’s going ok. Definitely an adjustment after a year off. There are a ton of new people which is really weird. But then two of our staff, who have been there longer than me (ten years), are on vacation. Maybe it’ll feel more like ‘home’ once they’re back. How to do my job has come back to me easily. I was a bit worried baby brain would get in the way, but so far so good!
Being away from Molly is hard, but not as horrible as I thought it would be. I miss her but know I’m doing the right thing for our family.

I think the biggest adjustment is for A. Not only is he the one dropping Molly off and picking her up from day care, but he’s also responsible for getting dinner started since he’s home earlier than me. Poor guy has been spoiled since living with me! I’m planning relatively easy meals for him but he’s learning how tricky it is to pull together a meal with a baby in tow.

I think it’ll take some time but we will all find our groove. Millions of families do it and so can we!

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