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Life Is Monumental

May 1, 2012

Something rather monumental happened yesterday around 4:34pm.

I fell in love 🙂

With my daughter of course. I was thinking about how amazing it feels when she kicks me (even in the awkward places) and all of a sudden, BAM! If felt this rush of emotion. It was so overpowering it moved me to tears, which was a bit awkward considering I was on the subway at the time.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved her since the very moment I saw those two pink lines on the pregnancy test and have done everything in my power to ensure she’s been kept safe from harm since, but yesterday was the first time I felt that heated, overwhelming, heart clenching, gut wrenching feeling of absolute, unconditional love and devotion. I recognized it for what it is because I remember the exact moment I felt that way about A. Funny enough, he can tell you when I started feeling that way too, even though we didn’t verbalize it until a few weeks later. It was in my eyes apparently…I’ve never been good at hiding my emotions 🙂

It doesn’t bother me that I’m just feeling this now. Some women have it from the moment of conception and some don’t experience it until after their children are born. I think for me the delay was caused by worrying about making it through the first few months without losing her. I kept myself somewhat detached to save my sanity just in case.

But now? There’s nothing in the way of that. She’s perfectly healthy and she is definitely coming (one way or another!)! Just thinking about holding her and meeting her and watching her grow makes me so happy I want to cry.

Life is good people.

Life is good.

Even when she kicks me in the bladder 🙂

4 Comments leave one →
  1. May 2, 2012 1:19 pm

    Aw, I’m a little jealous! I haven’t had that moment yet and I fear it won’t come until after baby is born.

    So happy for you!

  2. Noel green permalink
    May 2, 2012 11:06 pm

    It is wonderful to see you writing about unconditional love. We have unlimited capacity for this love to happen instantly and without warning. Think of you family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and cousins children who we instantly love and love without condition or prejudice.
    Humans are capable of so much love, that it sometimes amazes me that we find room for hate!
    I love your daughter unconditionally too, just like I love you and your sister.
    Always have and always will.

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