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Status: Changed

March 18, 2011

Since I’ve transitioned from Status: single to Status: in a relationship, I’m hanging up the proverbial towel on dating and am taking down my dating page, which was previously accessible above and included my tips on dating. It seems out of place now.   But I don’t want to delete that information completely, since it’s part of how I got to this place in my life, and as far as I’m concerned, invaluable information.

All my posts are still intact, so you can take a ride back through the past couple of years if you like (don’t judge me) and you can find the list of the men I’ve dated in the past (updated to include A) here, but here are the things I have learned about dating over the past couple of years! Enjoy!

DATING TIPS

  1. If you are intoxicated, do not under any circumstances drunk-text or call the person you are dating (ahem, of course I’ve NEVER done that)
  2. If a guy is not secure in his job, he’s not going to be ready for commitment
  3. Respond to messages within a 12 hour period. In this day and age of mass communication devices, there is no excuse (this goes for both men and women)
  4. Keep your options open. Don’t limit yourself based on what you ‘think’ you want. The reality is the perfect person for you may be someone you never expected.
  5. That being said, don’t  force yourself if you’re not comfortable.
  6. The guy MUST pay on the first date. Women should offer to split, but if he accepts, there’s something not right.
  7. Try and let the guy pursue you, but don’t be afraid to make a move if too much time is passing by
  8. If he hasn’t called, feel free to send a little nudge, but don’t ask why you haven’t heard from him. Just a ‘how was your week?’ should be sufficient
  9. There comes a time when you should just let go. Don’t become a desperate stalker!
  10. Try dating more than one person at a time
  11. Dating does not mean you have to have sex
  12. Try not to let others dictate the choices you make with respect to dating
  13. Dating advice can only take you so far; as long as you’re comfortable with your actions, that’s the best you can do!
  14. Men cannot read our minds. If you want something, ask for it. Don’t assume they’ll automatically know what you want or need.
  15. To the men who may read this: if you aren’t into us, fine. Tell us. You may be afraid of hurting us, but what hurts us more is the feeling of being ignored or  misled. I would personally rather have the knowledge of your rejection, rather than spend hours wondering , worrying and analyzing over and over whether or not you may or may not like me.
  16. If you’re an online dater, and you send a message to someone and they don’t reply, it is not acceptable to send another message saying “What, you don’t like what you see?”. If you’re too immature to accept rejection from someone YOU DON”T EVEN KNOW, this isn’t the venue for you.
  17. If you read a profile and a guy puts a weight limit on the girl he’s seeking, it might be a good idea to avoid him, even if you fall into his ‘parameters’. That’s just a disaster waiting to happen and he’s obviously very appearance-oriented.
  18. Be wary of super-persistent men who are concerned if you don’t respond to their messages within minutes and continue to message you wondering where you are and why you haven’t responded….such men may be likely to turn up at your work with a scone and a tea, forcing your co-worker to keep an eye on your awkward conversation with such men in case something untoward happens so she can call security if necessary.
  19. Have fun! Dating can be a positive experience, so enjoy it!
  20. Try and date outside your comfort zone now and then.
  21. Fate shmate. You’re not going to find someone just waiting for fate to step in. I believe in fate, but also that you have to help it along a bit. Who says that your fate isn’t to go out and actively hunt for a guy? Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there!
  22. I’ve recently discovered it helps to go into a date with no preconceived notions of the guy at all, other than knowing the absolute basics (age, name, height).
  23. Referencing back to #11, go with your instinct on this one. Take as much (or as little, haha) time as you need!
  24. Ladies, your girlfriends exist for a reason. Do NOT release your crazy on the guy you’re dating. For him, save your most perfect, relaxed, calm self. If you need to get your crazy on, talk to your girls.
  25. It pains me to say it, but sometimes you just have to move on. But don’t give up without a fight! You’ll never know unless you try, right? If you’ve made every effort you’re comfortable with, there’s no reason for you to regret the experience.
  26. Don’t be afraid to not date. I know, it seems counter productive, but if you’re feeling negative about dating, if you’re feeling angry at the men you date, then just take a break and re-group. You’ll be much better off and in a good place once you start dating again.
  27. If the guy asks you to send him food…in AFRICA, DON”T DATE HIM!!
  28. Trust is important. But it’s equally important to forgive. Forgiveness goes a long way towards gaining back any trust lost.
  29. Patience. Embrace it. Love it. Use it.
  30. Dating is not black or white. There are many, MANY shades of gray.
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