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December 13, 2010

The nice thing about spending time with A, without actually dating A, are the conversations that we have. We met online last January and are both veterans of online dating, so we have lots of crazy and weird experiences to share, as well as the do’s and do not’s we’ve discovered over the years. These are probably not topics we would discuss if we were actually trying to form a relationship, but because we aren’t, it’s a free for all. It’s been quite enlightening to get a glimpse into the male brain on this topic.

For example: He was genuinely shocked to hear that I don’t have men beating down my proverbial door online. He gets a ton of messages all the time. While I get maybe two guys contacting me per session. He couldn’t understand, since my picture was cute (aw, that was nice of him to say).  I countered with the fact that there are way more women online than there are men. AND said men are most likely more picky than women. After looking through the options I have compared to the options he has, he conceded I was right (boo-ya!).

Here’s the thing: A man’s gut reaction is to go with the woman he’s most attracted to, not to the quality of her profile. A generalization? Yes. But it seems to be a realistic one. There are a lot of pretty women online. A man’s initial interest in a woman is more physical than anything else. It takes time for him to realize that he’s attracted to her on other levels as well. While for a woman, the physical attraction doesn’t necessarily come first. It’s other qualities that interest us at the beginning.

Honestly, it’s a miracle the human race has survived.

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