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Status: Single

September 14, 2010

I think I have writer’s block. I’ve been trying to start this post for the past 1/2 hour and can’t gather my thoughts. I’ve been….out of sorts lately. I don’t really want to write about what’s been going on with N, because I honestly don’t know what’s going on. I’m trying to be patient, but it’s incredibly hard, and it’s making me incredibly aware of my single status. Everywhere I go, I’m reminded that I’m solo. And it hurts.

I had such high hopes for us when we started dating, and though I understand that what’s happened is not his fault and I in no way blame him, it’s still disappointing that we haven’t moved forward.

The funny thing, is that when I’m NOT interested in someone, I’m usually ok being on my own and happily accept that I’m single.  But when the possibility exists that my singleness could be eliminated, it’s ALL I can think about. Kind of a catch 22: I’m alone and I’m happy or I’m dating and a little miserable.

If only I could get past the dating phase to the relationship phase where I’m no longer single and then I’d be happy. At least I hope I will be….who knows, maybe some other form of misery awaits me at that point.

And aren’t I a ray of sunshine today?

Let’s blame the hormones!

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