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Choosing your soulmate

September 9, 2010

A while back I wrote about soulmates and that I don’t necessarily believe they exist. Well, not that they don’t exist but that a soulmate isn’t necessarily someone you’re romantically involved with, and that you’re not limited to one either. With over six billion people on this earth, the odds are very slim of you ever finding your ‘one’ person if that’s the case.

I read something recently (and I can’t remember where or I would reference it) that made perfect sense. It brought to my attention the idea that finding your soulmate is a choice. It’s not meant or destined to be (predetermined if you will), but rather you make the choice and put in the work to find your soulmate and make them stick. Relationships don’t just happen (shocker!). You have to make a conscious effort to make it from one level to the next and work hard to stay there. You have to be open to giving and receiving love and deal with all the ups and downs in the process.

Over the past year, my idealistic attitude about relationships and soulmates has been given a heavy dose of reality and as a result, I feel that much closer to finding happiness with someone. Is N my someone? Who knows. Our situation is still complicated and definitely not a normal case of ‘He’s Just Not That Into You”. There are extenuating circumstances at work, beyond  our control, and until they’re resolved (soon, yay!), well, it’s complicated. If I was to use Mars and Venus On A Date as a reference, I’d say we’re in the uncertainty phase right now. In the past, I would have given up already because it’s been so hard (seriously hard). But no longer. The new me sees the value in putting in time and effort to try to make things work, and I have to hope he feels the same way. Even once everything is resolved, things may not work out. But I am making the choice to try. I see the value in him and that eludes to my definition of soulmate: finding someone who shares similar goals, values and morals, with whom you choose to have the courage to take a chance and make things work.

So if you’re unhappy or depressed about being alone, remember this: Don’t blame fate or destiny. It’s all about choice. No one can make something happen for you. You make it happen (I think I’m channeling Sigourney Weaver from Working Girl today! If you haven’t seen this movie, it rocks!!)

"You make it happen"

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