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Shades of Gray

September 8, 2010

I was reading this article last night from Dating With Dignity and it inspired me to think about a few things. The basic premise of the article is that some people live life as a black or white. There is a right answer and a wrong answer. In the case of dating, the article states, this would be either the guy is the ‘one’ and you must be with him, or he’s not the ‘one’ and you must break up with him right away.

The author, a dating coach whose articles I’ve enjoyed reading over the past month on Divine Caroline, suggests we try living in the gray area of life, where there is no right or wrong, and often no immediate answer. When it comes to dating, I tend to agree. It may take time

I fully admit that for most of my life, I’ve been a black or white type of girl. I’m very firm on my beliefs and have allowed very little wiggle room. For me, seeing things in black and white means control. It allows me to make easy decisions and choices without question. And it’s acted as a pretty efficient crutch for me, rejecting men based on whatever issue had popped up without giving them a chance.

But over the past year, I’ve allowed shades of gray to seep into my dating consciousness. I no longer view dating, or view men, as a black and white situation. There are many, many in betweens to be found, and I’ve definitely given up my control. Or at least tried to.  And despite the fact that living in the gray opens me up to heartbreak, I don’t regret it for one moment, because it means I’m living my life. Or at least trying to 🙂

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