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June 29, 2010

I was down for the count yesterday. A combo of fatigue and weather gave me a nasty headache, so I stayed home from work to rest. Today I’m much better, but suffering from ‘lady-time’ ailments, so I’m not 100% on my game. But that’s what drugs are for!

Nothing much is going on in terms of my love life. I almost caved yesterday and emailed M, but I held back. I’m still feeling sad over that whole situation. I know what you’re all going to say: you deserve better. But the thing is I thought he WAS better. Our first four dates were amazing and he gave me everything I needed. It was after he freaked out that things changed, and a part of me understands that. Fears can totally rule your life.

Of course I keep telling myself he freaked out, when the truth is probably that he’s just not interested. But it makes me feel better to think that he’s a chicken-s&*% rather than not into me. So that’s what I’m going to keep thinking.

I think my sadness stemmed from going back online (also, hormones. Stupid, stupid hormones). Rejection in any form is tough for me. I look at a guy and think, hey, he’s ok. He’s lucky to hear from me. So I smile or send a message. And then no response. WTF. That gets me. What exactly do I need to say in my profile to capture their interest?  It’s frustrating beyond belief. Men are way pickier than women I find.

I’ll just keep on trekin’! Someone will case me a line for a nibble 🙂

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