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Cheese and Toast

June 12, 2010

“Cheese and Toast” is my expression for anything crazy that’s happening. It’s my way of expressing myself without swearing (I try not to swear). Break a nail? Cheese and Toast. Bang my toe? Cheese and Toast. See someone do something I would never do? Cheese and Toast.

I’m not exactly sure how this phrase became part of my vocabulary or where it originated from, but it’s there and I use it pretty much on a daily basis.

With that in mind: HOLY F-ING CHEESE AND TOAST!!!

M texted me yesterday afternoon. I KNOW!!! I didn’t expect it so soon either (or, to be honest, part of me didn’t think at all). But yup. He texted and while I won’t tell you the exact details of what was said, it  was encouraging. Still, our text exchange didn’t really give me the answers I was looking for. I finally asked if he wanted to come over later in the evening. He did. And we talked. We talked about everything I had wanted to talk about, and in fact I had already brought up in The Letter, but I got his perspective on things. I made sure to cover everything I felt we needed to cover and by the time we finished, I felt satisfied that we had resolved things. He’s actually a good communicator, which is obviously a good thing for me. If he didn’t know I was a talker before, he sure as hell does now! We are still going to see each other. Yay!

I actually wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to keep moving forward, given everything that has happened, but I feel good about taking that chance. However, I’m going to be cautious. Yes, I want to give us a chance, but I’m on guard now. I’m still going to be me. I’m still going to be open and expressive but with an element of reserve that wasn’t there before. I need to trust that he’s not going to wig out again, or at least need to know that if he does he’ll come back. Everyone has moments, and that’s allowed. It’s how you deal with them that is crucial, especially when other people are involved. I think he’s learned that I’m not a girl who bails easily and that’s a good thing. If I think something or someone is worth it, I’m going to fight for it. That’s who I am and now he knows that.

So there we go. There are no guarantees. There is no certainty. But at least we’re willing to take the chance. I’m so proud of how I handled everything, how I was true to what I believed was right. He really is a great guy and I’m happy we’re going to take the chance to keep getting to know each other. What is dating if not taking a chance on someone?

Cheese and Toast. I’m pooped! The past couple of weeks have been crazy and I’m going to take this weekend to rest and take care of myself AND get some much needed housework done. It’s kind of been the least of my worries lately.

Hope you all have a great weekend!


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