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Update

June 7, 2010

So M and I are getting together on Thursday to talk. I have no idea what that means.

He contacted me this morning, texting at his usual time. There was generic chatter for a bit until I made the move and asked if the fact that he was texting meant he was ready to talk. He said yes, that he owed me. Since thursday is far away, and I”m feeling anxious enough as it is, I asked if he wanted to keep seeing me if we figured things out (I know, I know, stop pushing C!). He said one step at a time, let’s see how Thursday goes. I’m going to play it low key over the next few days and talk to him only if he contacts me.

Sigh.

I’m trying not to hope for too much. There’s a part of me that is sure we can get past this and I feel like it’s a good sign that he is willing to see me in person. But then there’s the part that remembers how S didn’t change his mind once it was made up. I try not to compare the two, but it’s hard. All I want is a chance! Is that so awful?

I hope I can make it through the next few days! Cross your collective fingers people!

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