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What I’m Not and What I’m Going to Be

March 13, 2010

I’m not naive. I’m not gullible. I’m not easily manipulated.

So it really pisses me off when someone I don’t even know, tries to do so. That’s the gist of what happened with C. We were in the middle of an IM conversation when all of a sudden he asks me to send him food. To Africa. WTF. And then he got upset when I wouldn’t do that. I asked him if he really expected me to financially help someone I haven’t even met. He countered that I wasn’t the nice person he thought I was. Jerk. And I told him as much.

But I got to thinking: is he who he says he is? Is he using online dating as a tool to score women who can be manipulated? It makes me so mad that this could be the case. At first I was so sad. Here was a seemingly great guy. There was such potential there. And then it was gone. When will I catch a break?

I may not be gullible, but I am a trusting person and tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. There is a marked difference between trust and gullibility. I may trust but I won’t allow my trust to be taken advantage of.

It hasn’t ruined my impression of online dating though. I have met some really nice guys that way. But being sick the past few days makes me realize that I’m tired (in addition to being ill). Disappointment is exhausting, hence the dating hiatus. The only exception would be if A were to get in touch. And I actually sent him an email saying as much. I was honest, saying I’d be happy to hear from him if he’s ever back in Toronto, because when I was with him I felt safe and actually trusted him. He wrote back saying what a nice thing to say and if and when he’s back, he’ll definitely get in touch. I’m not holding out hope, but keeping the option open. I’m not at all angry with him, our timing was just way off, with him having to head back out West.

And in the meantime, I’m going to get myself in order. I’m feeling much better today (thanks to the antibiotics!) and am thinking ahead.  It’s a month until B and I head off to New Orleans and I continue on to Los Angeles. In that month I’m going to start my workout routine again, which has suffered greatly in the past few months. I’m going to eat better, which has also been suffering, though not seriously. I”m going to enjoy MY time.

I’m going to be me.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 14, 2010 10:32 am

    Good for you C! Hope you are feeling better. I’ve got a cold too – I think it’s going around. Many people sick. Darn germs.

  2. March 15, 2010 2:03 pm

    He…..asked…….for….food? Oh good grief. What a weirdo.

  3. Shawna permalink
    March 23, 2010 12:44 pm

    What Ally said. Well played playa.

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