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Sigh

February 21, 2010

I’m not sure why, but I can’t sleep  in anymore. I was awake at 7:30 this morning! That’s the time I get up for work. Is this what happens in your 30’s??

Today is my niece’s christening.

Side note: Funny enough, my horoscope (astrology.com) says I need to spend time with kids today. Weird!

Anyways, today she’ll be blessed in front of family and friends, wearing the christening gown my mom made for me, which my sister also wore. I love traditions! I’m sure I’ll tear up. It’s what I do. Have to remember to bring tissues….

Afterward we’re having a party at my parents, with food and drinks. Should be fun!

And that’s pretty much it for today. I hope to make a batch of veggie chili tonight, so that I have some portions for lunch this week. But that means stopping at the grocery store at some point and I”m not sure I’ll have enough energy for that. We’ll see!

I’ve signed up for a subscription to eharmony. Of course, knowing my life, A will get in touch now, having spent the money. But at least I’m making plans to move forward. There is only so much waiting I can do, and without a response from him regarding the email I sent (other than a ‘No” I didn’t ruin things), I have no idea where his mind is with regards to us. If I knew that, I’d be more comfortable waiting, but I can’t risk my future on what I hope. I can only deal with what I know.

It’s really hard for me not to have any closure. I’m not the girl who let’s things go. I confront issues, not let them slide. But I’m going to have to learn how to do that, and apparently, I need to start now.

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