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Thoughts on thinking

February 15, 2010

I’m beginning to realize that all I think about is my love life (or lack thereof). Seriously. I wake up in the morning and it’s the first thing I think about. I go to bed at night and often have trouble falling asleep because of the ramblings in my head. And here’s why: it’s the only area of my life I”m not happy with. My friends and family are awesome. I love my job. I love my house. I’m happy with myself and who I am and what I do in my spare time. But my love life? Not so keen on that.

And that’s what gets me in trouble. I see the potential for happiness and I leap on it, rather than waiting patiently for it. I think that may scare some guys. I have no idea still how my email to A affected him. I like to think that since he didn’t freak out and break things off that there’s still a chance (it’s not as if I declared my undying love). But who knows! Part of the issue is that there’s conflicting information out there on a man’s behaviour. One book says that if a guy isn’t in touch, that he just isn’t into you (we’ve all read that one, or at the very least, seen the movie!). Another book says that sometimes a guy disappears, and that it may be days and days before he gets in touch, but that doesn’t mean he’s not interested, just that he’s probably uncertain.

So who is right? I guess I’ll have to wait and see.

I’m not resting all my hopes on A, but I’ve decided to take a week or so off from dating. Just to refresh myself. I’m super busy this week anyways, with something happening each night, and this weekend is CJ’s christening, so there will be a huge focus on that. If A gets in touch during that time, fine. Perfect. But if not, I’m going to move on. It hurts and I’ll be sad and disappointed, but I’ll move on.

Apparently it’s what I do best. Besides thinking.

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